Prove that religious texts from the Roman Empire didn't say really weird things. You can't.

"[To be wrought by the help] of a boy, with a lamp, a bowl, and a stand. I invoke thee, O Zeus, Helius, Mithra, Sarapis, unconquerable, possessor of honey, Melicertes, father of honey, abraalbabachambechi, baibeizoth, ebaibeboth, seriabeboth, amelchipsithiouthipithoio, pnoutenin, thereterou, iueueoo, aieia, eeoia, eeai, eueie, ooooo, eueouao, ai, bakaxichuch, bosepseteth, phobe, biboth, the great, great Sarapis; samasphreth, odargazas, odarmagas, odaphar, ykiaboth, ephia, zelearthar, methomeo, lamarmera, optebi, ptebi, marianou, appear and give heed to him who has manifested before fire and snow, bainphoooch, for thou art he who didst manifest light and snow, terrible-eyed-thundering-and-lightning-swift-footed one, pintouche, etomthoout, opsianaeak, arourongoa, paphtha, enosade, iae, iaoai, aoiao, oeu..."

Blogger's note: "E-I-E-I-O" is all I have to say to that. I'm also considering this text to be proof that spell-checking during this period was a pain in the you-know-what. If you know what I mean.

P.S. Wanna know something really sad? I painstakingly double-checked the spelling of every word on this post. As if that was going to make a difference.

[Source: Lewis, Naphtali and Meyer Reinhold, eds. Roman Civilization, Volume II: Selected Readings: The Empire. 3rd ed. New York: Columbia University Press, 1990. Page 532.]